June 25, 2019

John Howard gets shoes thrown at him on TV

Your shoe cannot hit me. My Jedi powers are much stronger now.

John Howard’s re-emerged into public life on ABC’s Q&A last night and promptly found himself dodging shoes as well as questions.

About to release his memoir Lazarus Rising, Howard was answering questions from the studio audience when one of them got frustrated and threw his shoes at Howard. Luckily for Howard the shoe throwing was about as accurate as a US drone attack and both missiles sailed over his head.

Newswarped understands that the sight of everyones favourite Hobbit after so long away from middle earth might ignite latent rage among his legions of admirers.

It was interesting to see former Guantanamo Bay detainee David Hicks getting the chance via video link to question the former Prime Minister. It was lucky Hicks wasn’t in the studio or he probably would have got arrested for being part of the terror cell that planed the shoe throwing attack.

As usual for Hick’s he did not get any satisfactory answers to why he was detained without trial for five and a half years. The only bright side of his long incarceration was that he did not have to listen to John Howard giving speeches. But wait, perhaps that was part of the torture Hicks alleges he was subjected too.

Newswarped welcomes back John Howard to public life just as long as he is never again put in a position of responsibility. Especially nothing that enables him to involve Australia in another unwinnable war.