October 15, 2018

Kate Middleton and Prince William to marry

Kate Middleton poses with the UK Junior Section winner of the Prince Edward Look a like contest.

Prince William and girlfriend Kate Middleton have announced their engagement. Apparently he asked her in Kenya a few weeks ago and gave her Princess Diana’s ring. If you have been living on Mars, Princess Diana is Williams late mummy.

As there is wall to wall Kate and Wills coverage at the moment, newswarped thought we should give you the facts so you could get on with life.

Kate and William are both 28. Kate is very good looking and I am told William is too. They have been living together ever since meeting at University.

For years the woman’s magazines and tabloid press have filled their pages with accounts of Kate and William breaking up, fighting and finding new love with other people. Now these same publications are going into overdrive with feel good stories about the lovely couple and the wedding plans.

Newswarped thinks this is a tad hypocritical and as punishment the junk media should be forced to write the truth for a month.

Meanwhile there are unconfirmed reports that with the ring taken care of Kate and Wills are going shopping for mistresses for him instead. This apparently is an essential accessory for all aspiring Prince of Wales chaps.