August 23, 2019

Royal Wedding Party announced

Nothing like a royal wedding to turn normally rational people into train spotters.

Prince William and Kate Middleton will be supported at their April 29 Wedding at Westminster Abbey by a couple of adults and a whole bunch of kids.

Prince Harry has now been reconciled to the establishment and is starring as Prince Williams best man. Kate Middletons younger sister Philippa will be her maid of honour.

As for the page boys and bridesmaids there is a whole bunch who will look sicklingly cute. Cynics might suggest they went for a posse of bridesmaids with an average age of five because that was all the genuine ‘maids’ they could find among the royals.

The page boys are:

William Lowther-Pinkerton, 10, the son of William’s private secretary, and Tom Pettifer, 8, another of William’s godchildren.

The Bridesmaids are:

Lady Louise Windsor, 7, the daughter of Prince Edward, William’s uncle; Margarita Armstrong-Jones, 8, the daughter of Viscount and Viscountess Linley; Eliza Lopes, the 3-year-old granddaughter of Prince Charles’ wife Camilla, The Duchess of Cornwall; and Grace van Cutsem, 3, a godchild of William’s.

Newswarped is resigned to the fact that he won’t be on the guest list. Too much of a Republican for the establishment.

It is safe to say that Prince Harry will probably be wearing 'Gestapo Black' for the wedding too.

It is safe to say that Pippa Middleton will be dolled up in something a lot frumpier than this outfit.