September 17, 2019

Prince Harry’s royal wedding reception speech brings the house down

Prince Harry lived up to his reputation as the ‘joker’ of the royal family.

Freed from the pomp and ceremony of the royal wedding, Prince Harry has let his hair down with a best man’s speech at the wedding reception that brought the house down.

The reception for the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge was held at Buckingham Palace on Friday evening with 300 close family and friends in attendance.

Prince Harry, 26 gave a speech to remember for the “dude and the duchess” as he referred to the newly weds.

Wearing a fez and standing on a table, Prince Harry covered all sorts of topics but, mostly he was taking the piss out of his older brother in true best man style.

Some of the speech content was:

– Offering “sympathy to Catherine for having married a bald man.”
– “Willaim was actually an all-right bloke but not as good looking as me – apart from his red hair.”
– Talking of Prince Philip eing “dwarfed” by Catherine in her 7.6cm heels.
– a high-pitched impersonation of Catherine calling William “Billy”, and of his brother calling her “baby”. “William didn’t have a romantic bone in his body before he met Kate, so I knew it was serious when William suddenly started cooing down the phone at Kate,” Harry said.

On a more serious note Prince Harry drew a tear from his new sister-in-law when he said that he “loved having a ‘sister'” and that he “cherished Kate as we have become so close.”

Harry also said “how much his mum would have been proud of them both [William and Catherine].”

Not to be outdone father-of-the-bride Michael Middleton in his speech which he made probably with the help of said “I knew things were getting serious when I found a helicopter in my garden. I thought, ‘Gosh, he must like my daughter’.”

The Queen and Prince Philip did not attend the evening reception, choosing to leave the palace after a luncheon gathering. Sometimes we forget how old they really are.

William, 28, and Catherine, 29, left the palace by helicopter on Saturday, bound for a secret UK destination where they will spend the next few days.

The couple have announced they will not honeymoon immediately, with William instead returning to work as a search-and-rescue helicopter pilot this week.

Newswarped supposes a mans got to do what a mans got to do, but it seems a little odd that William would rather pluck people from the ocean than spend time in some luxury resort with Catherine.

Oh well the ways of the royals are supposed to be a mystery to us mere commoners.