September 16, 2014

French finance minister Christine Lagarde named IMF chief

I am very happy to be named head of the IMF. No, I do not intend to continue the after hours policies of my predecessor.

French finance minister Christine Lagarde, 55, has been named as head of the International Monetary Fund (IMF) to replace Dominique Strauss-Kahn.

She is the first woman to head the IMF and was in a head to head race with Mexico’s central bank governor, Agustin Carstens. IMF heavyweights Russia and the United States of Ameirca threw their support in behind Lagarde in recent days which seems to have tipped the balance in her favour.

Also tipping the balance her way was the fact that she was a much safer bet not to sexually molest hotel maids. Somehow this criteria had found its way into the KPI’s for the head of the IMF.

Christine Lagarde has been the French minister of finance since June 2007.

The IMF in a gushing eloquent statement said that both candidates “were well qualified”.

“The results are in: I am honoured and delighted that the board has entrusted me with the position of MD of the IMF!” Ms Lagarde said via Twitter minutes after the announcement. Vive la France, Vive la IMF!! sorry that was newswarped getting involved in the celebrations.

Now that the IMF was warming to the task of telling the world their good news, their statements got taken to a whole new level of comunications excellence, saying “The executive board of the International Monetary Fund today selected Christine Lagarde to serve as IMF managing director and madame chairman of the executive board for a five-year term starting on July 5, 2011.”

They couldn’t help themselves in playing the gender card adding “Ms Lagarde is the first woman named to the top IMF post since the institution’s inception in 1944″. That is true of course but women have always been important to the IMF especially in the field of casual sexual gratification.