September 25, 2017

Aussie asylum seeker deal with Malaysia signed

We are going to see Aunty Julia. She has promised to give us a great deal on trips to Malaysia.

The Australian government has signed an agreement confirming their deal with Malaysia to take asylum seekers picked up in Australian waters and send them to new transit centres in Kuala Lumpur.

According to the plan the next 800 asylum seekers arriving by boat to Australia will be fingerprinted before being flown to Malaysia, where the federal government will pay for a month in a hotel plus a living allowance.

The new transit centres in Kuala Lumpur are expected to be ready for customers in the next few weeks.

Malaysia will have the right to reject any asylum seekers if they are on terrorism lists or have serious criminal convictions. Australia will also screen the 4000 refugees it accepts from Malaysia in return as part of the deal.

Yesterday the Immigration Minister, Chris Bowen, said asylum seekers would have the right to work in Malaysia, a breakthrough in a country where 95,000 refugees cannot work legally.

Newswarped is not sure why Australia just doesn’t locate this mysterious country called ‘Asylum Seeker’ and nuke the place. That will stop them going boating in the Indian Ocean all the time.

After facing heavy public criticism of his country’s treatment of refugees, Malaysia’s Home Affairs Minister, Hishammuddin Hussein, said Malaysia would be judged by the results of the scheme, and was committed to treating refugees with dignity.

So let me get this straight. If I turn up in Australian waters with no passport. The Australian government will fly me to Malaysia, put me up in a hotel for a month and pay me a living allowance. On top of that I am allowed to work in Malaysia and the Malaysian government promises to treat me with respect. Sweet. That is the summer vacation taken care of. We don’t even have to worry about all that bureaucratic bullshit around having a passport.