September 22, 2017

Introducing Kim Dotcom – the new stealth person

Kim Dotcom – now you see him, now you don’t.


Newswarped can reveal that a new secret weapon has been uncovered down in little old New Zealand. A large man who can apparently make himself invisible. This stealth man has successfully made himself invisible to our Prime Minister and the leader of the ACT party. He also made himself invisible when the counter-terror squad stormtroopers raided his mansion.

So successful is this stealth technology that not only does it make Dotcom physically invisible but people also forget that they talked to him or about him – eh John? In another twist the FBI knew he was guilty of heinous crimes against a handful of mega-rich media tycoons. Turn on the stealth man technology and they instantly forget what evidence they had that proved his guilt in the first place.

Think of the applications we can put the stealth man technology too. Crimes can be committed and we were not there. Even the big brother camera on every corner surveillance won’t be able to track us. The possibilities are endless. We can confront a politician and tell them what we think of them. We can swear and abuse them and they won’t even remember what we said. Come to think of it we don’t need stealth man technology for that one.

Stealth man can even make us unaware of where that extra $50,000 in our bank account came from. Perfect for money laundering operations.

I think the FBI just want to extradite Kim Dotcom so they can have the stealth man technology for themselves. Greedy bastards.