August 22, 2019

Nike dumps Lance Armstrong as Lance dumps himself from Livestrong

Even though I didn’t take drugs. Some days coming down was just such a bummer.

US cycling legend Lance Armstrong has been dumped by longtime supporter Nike. The sportswear giant has stood by Lance throughout the persistent drug allegations in recent years. Poor Lance, he seems to be the only one who is still supporting himself as one by one his closest friends and team mateshave turned on him and fessed up.

Well today even Lance Armstrong has turned on Lance Armstrong. He has fired himself as chairman of the Livestrong cancer charity he set up. Strange behaviour from a chap who still claims to be innocent. Well newswarped is not giving up on you Lance. We support your right to deny your guilt. Maybe we can even lay claim to being the only major media outlet that has not jumped onto the shark feed on Lance bandwagon? Of course our claim of being a major media outlet may be disputed in some quarters, but jealousy does often cloud the judgement of wannabe competition.

Hey Nike if you have ditched Lance Armstrong then you might consider picking up an acclaimed freelance writer. I am prepared to Just Do It accept a generous sponsorship offer. After all I am am a public transportation survivor and seven time pub quiz champion. I even wrote a best selling autobiography about my early life called ‘It’s not about the trike’. If a sponsorship deal is on the cards I am happy to call volume 2 of my memoirs – ‘It’s all about the Nike’.


P.S. Ancient Griff proverb for Lance – It doesn’t matter how much good you do. If it was built on a lie then it is all a lie.