June 25, 2019

Gareth Morgan trying to kill off Phoenix fans along with cats

MorganFresh from pointing his verbal gun at cats in New Zealand, Wellington Phoenix football club co-owner Gareth Morgan has shifted his sights to the loyal Phoenix fans.

Morgan used to be known as an economist. Then he became better known as the dude who sired Trademe founder Sam Morgan. Gareth reaped a tidy return on his investment in Sams business when it was sold.

For an intelligent man he has been saying an awfully lot of dumb things lately. It is almost like he has taken a New Years resolution to say the first thing that comes into his head. Instead of highlighting the significant problem of feral cats and their impact on native bird life Gareth 2013 decided to tar all cats with the same brush and call for their elimination.

Now he has used the word ‘pathetic’ in the same sentence describing Phoenix fans not once but twice. Even one of the dumbest moggies  on Gareth’s hit list would have realised that the media would extract that word out in isolation and use it in their headline.

Regardless of what we think about cats and the Phoenix style of play, newswarped thinks it is time that Gareth exercised verbal restraint and shut the &#%@ up. Even if he decides to put a sock in it voluntarily it might be too late for Gareth. Cat lovers and football fans are some of the most passionate and dedicated people on the planet. Gareth may be found buried in the vege garden with a Phoenix scarf garotte around his neck. The perfect combination of lethal cat and fanatical football fan in a flowing move that would have excited our Gareth had he lived to see it.