August 19, 2019

Iran sends Monkey to Space and back – US not so sure

guys you have had your fun. It's time to let me go. What is with the rocket?

guys you have had your fun. It’s time to let me go. What is with the rocket?

The United States has expressed doubt about Iran’s claim that it safely returned a monkey from space, saying it is questionable that the monkey survived – or if the flight happened at all.

State Department spokeswoman Victoria Nuland said a lot of questions remained “about whether the monkey that they reportedly sent up into space and reportedly came down was actually the same monkey, whether he survived.”

“The Iranians said they sent a monkey, but the monkey that they showed later seemed to have different facial features,” Nuland told reporters. “He was missing a little wart.”

Newswarped thinks that if Iran claimed they had successfully grown a banana then the US Government would cast doubt on the truth of their claim.

Tehran says the confusion was caused by Iranian media for initially using a photo of a backup monkey. It says the monkey orbited and returned safely, and President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad added Monday that he would consider being Iran’s first astronaut in space.

Senator John McCain, who joked about Ahmadinejad’s space dreams on twitter saying – “Wasn’t he just there last week?”

Just to prove the world is chock full of people waiting to be offended McCain was criticized by some for his ‘racist’comment.

McCain was right to reply “lighten up folks, can’t everyone take a joke.”

But Michigan Republican Senator Justin Amash waded into the debate saying “Maybe you should wisen up & not make racist jokes.” Wake me up when it is all over.

Jonathan McDowell, a Harvard astronomer who tracks rocket launchings and space activity, backed up Iran’s claim that monkey space flight was real. However, he had a slightly different explanation for the photo mix-up, saying the simian with the mole died during a failed space mission in 2011.

Tehran says its goal is a manned space flight. Newswarped offers free advice to Tehran – if you want to achieve manned space flight you actually have to stick a human in the space rocket and stop sending monkeys.

Washington and its allies worry the program may be cover for ballistic missile technology development. Newswarped thinks they should be more worried about the whereabouts of the monkey with the mole.

Newswarped also does not agree with the conspiracy theorists who claim that the monkey with the mole bears an uncanny resemblance to George W Bush.