October 23, 2014

Vladimir Putin tries nice guy image – only for a limited time

Dr Seuss time - Do you like my hat? No I do not like your hat. Goodbye. Yes goodbye until the next amnesty then.

With only a few weeks before Sochi Olympics, Russian President Vladimir Putin is playing at being a nice guy. But before we get all excited - terms and conditions apply. Uncle Vladimir has released the rioting pussies from their prison a whole two months early from their two year sentence. Mikhail … [Read more...]

Pocket Drones issued to UK Soldiers

I spy with my little eye, something beginning with  T

British soldiers in Afghanistan have been issued with tiny surveillance drones that can fit into the palm of a hand. The Black Hornet Nano is designed in Norway and weighs around 16 grams. The 10-centimetre long helicopter is fitted with a tiny camera which relays video and still images to a … [Read more...]

Iran sends Monkey to Space and back – US not so sure

guys you have had your fun. It's time to let me go. What is with the rocket?

The United States has expressed doubt about Iran's claim that it safely returned a monkey from space, saying it is questionable that the monkey survived - or if the flight happened at all. State Department spokeswoman Victoria Nuland said a lot of questions remained "about whether the monkey that … [Read more...]

Thunderbirds TV Series re-make underway

Really Parker we are back after all this time?

Peter Jackson's Weta Workshop is teaming up Richard Taylor and ITV to re-invent the classic 1960's TV series - Thunderbirds. ITV Studios, is pairing with Weta and New Zealand-based Pukeko Pictures to make Thunderbirds are Go! due for launch in 2015. The 26-part show is a re-incarnation of … [Read more...]

Gay Jesus Billboard ruled ‘not offensive’

I find this offensive. What do you think?

A complaint about a church in Auckland, New Zealand displaying a billboard questioning whether Jesus was gay has been dismissed on the grounds it wasn't offensive. The St Matthew-in-the-City billboard featured an image of baby Jesus in a manger with a rainbow coloured halo and the words: "It's … [Read more...]

Football Betting Scandal hits World Cup and Euro qualifiers

Nothing proven yet but not looking good.

Over 680 suspicious football matches including qualifying games for the World Cup and European Championships, and the Champions League for top European club sides, have been identified in an inquiry by European police forces, the European anti-crime agency Europol, and national … [Read more...]

King Richard III Remains Identified

A before and after photo of Richard. Nice smile but showing his age.

A skeleton with a bashed in skull and a curved spine has been identified by scientists as the remains of English King Richard III. This brings to an end one of the longest running missing persons cases in English History. The news that Richard is dead was expected by his relatives after 528 years … [Read more...]

Subway sued over Short Subs

Males have been exaggerating how many inches for centuries now Subway is having a go at it.

In the US, two New Jersey men filed a lawsuit against sandwich giant Subway this week, claiming the world's biggest fast-food chain has been selling foot long subs that don't measure up. Last week a photo posted on the company's Facebook page of a foot long sub coming up short next to a ruler … [Read more...]

Gareth Morgan trying to kill off Phoenix fans along with cats

Morgan

Fresh from pointing his verbal gun at cats in New Zealand, Wellington Phoenix football club co-owner Gareth Morgan has shifted his sights to the loyal Phoenix fans. Morgan used to be known as an economist. Then he became better known as the dude who sired Trademe founder Sam Morgan. Gareth reaped … [Read more...]

Julia Gillard tumbles in India

Did you get that guys or do you want me to do another take?

Did anyone even know that Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard was in India? Well now the whole world knows thanks to a cunning piece of athleticism on camera. It was just another day in India. Honour guard soldier returning home. Mrs Honour Guard soldier:  "did you have a nice day dear"? Mr … [Read more...]

Nike dumps Lance Armstrong as Lance dumps himself from Livestrong

Even though I didn't take drugs. Some days coming down was just such a bummer.

US cycling legend Lance Armstrong has been dumped by longtime supporter Nike. The sportswear giant has stood by Lance throughout the persistent drug allegations in recent years. Poor Lance, he seems to be the only one who is still supporting himself as one by one his closest friends and team … [Read more...]

Obama v Romney Debate

Obama: I really admire you Mitt
Romney: So do I

The US Presidential election - Romney v Obama. A choice between Barack Obama - a guy that said all the right things but didn't always put the words into action. Or Mitt Romney. Yes America forgets very quickly what having a right winger in the White House means for the average citizen. Out here … [Read more...]

Taliban win Wally’s of the week award

Not allowed an education and apparently not allowed to live according to the Taliban.

Yes that is right folks, the Taliban have scooped the major prize at the international wally of the week awards by claiming that Malala Yousufza the 14 year-old school girl they tried to execute deserved to die. Her crimes were numerous. We have already heard about her campaign for girls to be … [Read more...]

Introducing Kim Dotcom – the new stealth person

Kim Dotcom - now you see him, now you don't.

Newswarped can reveal that a new secret weapon has been uncovered down in little old New Zealand. A large man who can apparently make himself invisible. This stealth man has successfully made himself invisible to our Prime Minister and the leader of the ACT party. He also made himself invisible when … [Read more...]

Ma’a Nonu – Have you seen my franchise bro?

Don't pick on me bro, I'm just trying to get the full set of NZ Super Rugby franchise shirts.

Poor old Maá Nonu. He seems to be having trouble finding his Super Rugby franchise. Got booted out of the Hurricanes, went to the Blues and now he's going to turn up in Dunedin to play for the Highlanders. Nonu is one of those rugby players that plays really well for the All Blacks but seems to have … [Read more...]